Extremely Short Take, Another Take: Black Butler

Oh my God stop me, Christmas is somehow making me vindictive. I.e., one sure way to bring out my Monday morning cranky side is by talking about Black Butler.

Title: Black Butler
Author & Artist: Yana Toboso

I first read Black Butler two years ago. I'm still reeling from the car crash.

It's not that I object to the creepy sexual undertone between a butler and his pre-pubescent master, because that would severely limit my reading materials if I were into manga at all, right guys? Right? Black Butler is merely an unholy marriage of every seedy underbelly aspect of manga. You see, the one thing that a person loathes more than the success of the things she hates is the failure of stuff she loves.

Let's analyze the premise: In Victorian England, snot-nosed brat Earl Ceil Phantomhive and his butler Sebastian look devastatingly handsome while battling the forces of evil. Except Sebastian has earned his perfect house cleaning degree (sarcastic) from devil school (metaphorical). Unadvertised/real reason anybody would read this thing: yaoi subtext that crosses age, species and gender boundaries.

Let's face it, yaoi subtext? Right up my alley. All the other trappings? Not so much. I have long detested the Gothic vein in manga, especially manga outright set in Europe, since not only do I prefer Eastern to Western aesthetics, but also because these manga have nothing in the way of substance, believing that frills and master-servant or sheltered heroine dynamic brings readers by the hordes and sustains their interests.

For the record, of course I have exceptions, after all, Fullmetal Alchemist is steampunk.

Anyway, the Victorian England settings often does disservice to the manga, because we all know how much mangaka like to research their subjects thoroughly, not taking liberties with period fashion right? Turns out that's the least of my worries.

Because Black Butler opens by establishing three things: Sebastian is perfect, all other characters beside Sebastian and Ceil are hapless, and the series is totally pointless. If I strip away the sparkles (of which there are lots,) the awkward exclamations (of which there are several too many,) and the decidedly unamusing interactions (which should be stronger since that's where you hang your hook,) the "plot" of the first chapter is thus: Sebastian wipes the floor with some martial artist. They both look the opposite of cool and the epitome of stiff human anatomy with the former posing a finishing move and the latter posing the 1000-hand crane (what, you say, what?) Sebastian proceeds to save a super important dinner (that's super important guys, Ceil is discussing children toys with a genial old man - a long-time business partner and everything) because the other servants have all chosen to simultaneously cock up. Cue exaggerated reactions all around and crude portrayal of foreigners and household servants.

Seriously, the world does not have to hang in the balance for something to have gravitas, but dear mangaka, for introduction to your characters and a simple dinner you don't need that level of melodrama. In fact, sometimes I prefer my first chapters to be non-action oriented if I was delving into the slice-of-life variety. Black Butler could be mining for dark comedy in treating dinner with life-or-death drama, but I didn't find the chapter funny in the least. It was plainly overdone. Waiter, send it back please.

Another problem is Black Butler's minor characters, in the sense that they are character traits slapped onto humanoid figures and an inconsequential echo chamber for the sheer greatness that is Sebastian. Why bother giving them names? Why not just label them the cook, the maid, because that's both easier to remember and what they ultimately amount to anyway. Their services become their identity, which, nice job of portraying Victorian England mindset.

My predictions for the following chapters, having heard so many wonderful ravings about the boys: Black Butler will attempt to adopt a "dark" tone (murder on the agenda! Unhealthy symbiotic relationships!) which will mesh well with the first chapter since evil was practically crawling underneath the surface and all. Sebastian and Ceil will engage in pseudo-sexual acts (it's not a kiss, it's mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! And butlers bridal-carry their masters all the time, et cetera.)

There is no saving grace. The art is clumsy and not nuanced; it merely ridiculously fetishizes Victorian fashion. Add that to the hopelessly objectified cardboard cut-outs of characters and the clunky storytelling, you've got my nightmare manga.

Extremely Short Takes: Ouran High School Host Club

The prudent reader will scour manga review blogs or take their sisters' recommendations before ever opening a volume. I am not that kind of reader. I am the impulsive kind of reader, and have started way more series than I have seen to the end and hey, doesn't that sound very familiar? On some occasions, after a chapter or a volume another kind of instinct kicks in, the self-preservation kind, the kind that lets me drop cold many a story. Let it never be said that I'm the masochistic kind of reader.

Hence the short takes series. These manga are for the most part so bad I remember their names or so overrated I can't forget their names. To be fair, most people admit they are guilty guilty pleasures.

No ratings, because one chapter/volume does not a series make, and I'm liable to give them all 1/10 when unsupervised.

Title: Ouran High School Host Club
Author & Artist: Bisco Hatori

One of the most frustrating thing about manga is that you can't talk about it with your non-fandom friends and most of your other fandom friends from the Harry Potter and Supernatural heydays. They awkwardly shuffle their feet and you end up talking about The Avengers or whatever Hollywood's pushing out that even vaguely appeals to women, instead. The thing is, people do read manga, they just read Ouran, and Fruits Basket, and Sailor Moon, with their nostalgia goggles firmly attached. One reason why I dub myself newtype fangirl is because I look at classics with fresh eyes. It's not my fault that I missed the gravy train, okay?, and that Ouran did not become the staple of my teenage fantasies. (That, and the fact that I've never watched Totoro.)

So my friend who has never read any other manga lent me the first volume of Ouran High School Host Club. It was my attempt at integrating myself with the general fangirl populous, i.e., the pre-yaoi crowd. They have had a good point about Glass Mask, after all.

Synopsis: A poor girl rides into a rich private high school on a scholarship. She becomes servant to a disgustingly spoiled host club after breaking their expensive vase. I read it a few years ago, no lasting impression remains, I just have the vague memories of sparkles, no negative space whatsoever - you have text where? - and these cross purposes tangents that are somehow both half-hearted and furious. I loved myself far too much to continue. Though not enough, apparently, because I have just revisited the first chapter, for time-accrued-wisdom's sake, and Ouran, why must you jump from meeting the host club to bad exposition to randomly inserted backstory to the unexpected (not really) twist. Cue bishounen archetypes, the twins, the shouta, the megane, and the jerk who's contractually bound to be there and who's actually got a chance with the girl.

It was the most cluttered, fragmented, logic-from-outerspace reading experience ever. The only reason I managed to follow the plot was because I had read the back cover synopsis. Unassisted by a summary, for the life of me I cannot tell you what happens next. Ouran assumed that readers wanted the manga to get the set-up over with and get on with the shenanigans already. It gives the vibe that the mangaka finds her own story tedious, so let's skip to the wrist-grabbing, misunderstanding-abound part. That's feeble in comparison to Mitsuru Adachi's and Akira's and GTO's (and et cetera) lovingly, patiently crafted premises. Consider Touch's first chapter, which establishes family life and a romantic triangle that's no less complicated than Ouran's harem, but doing so by sampling the careless familiarity in its characters' interaction and by sensible exposition. All in less than 30 pages.

Adding insult to injury, hearsay informs me that Ouran also demonstrates problematic treatment of women (what sexist undertone?) but even discounting that, this manga is an unapologetic, utter mess.